When Someone Else Comes First

I admit it, I come from a deeply self-serving, want-it-now generation. I don't want to wait until I have enough money to buy it, I will use my credit card. If I need help with anything, I call on my parents without hesitation. Though I will give myself enough credit that I am pretty independent and don't like to call on help (eg - with a baby bjorn on, I will try to carry 6 supermarket bags to the car rather than ask for assistance!) I would generalise enough to say that most of us act in ways that suit ourselves first.

When you have a baby, this attitude becomes pretty much impossible. Unless you have endless money and or your mother moves in with you, you quickly realise that you can't even pee when you feel like it because Junior is going to dictate the activities of the day (and night). I relish Goo's nap time, not to say I don't love hanging out with him, but it gives me the time to get some chores done, write down my thoughts, eat, and collect myself. All other times, Goo's needs are number one, and I am more than happy to take a back seat.

Then there are the occasions where putting yourself first is imperative (and always reminding yourself that you are a human being, an individual, and not just 'someone's mother'). When your relationship goes south, and you make the decision to walk because your partner is abusive, regardless of how you feel about your child's right and need to have a relationship with both his parents, you cannot spend years sticking around and putting up with this treatment because you think a child should have a family unit together under the one household. 

I am a firm believer that when you look after yourself, the rest looks after itself. It will work out for the best, because you put yourself in a stronger position. 

Not to say it's not friggin' hard. Life is supposed to be, or that's what we've been told, and our generation are starting to get the feel of that, in a way that our parents can't shield us from.