Running. In the Other Direction.

I've blogged before numerous times about competitive mothers. Hell, you've all figured out by now how uncompetitive I am, how I shy away from any comparison at all because I feel like, hey, I'm going to come out of this looking bad, so why bother?

I take this approach with most aspects of my life, and it's not necessarily a good thing. I think it has hindered me from trying many a new thing with the thought that, I'll never be good at it anyway. This is bad! The truth is, there will always be someone better than you at everything. That shouldn't stop you from trying. What's wrong with a silver medal, anyway? Or a bronze? I think we live in this modern culture which dictates to us, that you're either the best, or you're nothing.

This way of thinking toxifies all aspects of life. Motherhood is a good example. I am not sure whether it is celebrities who 'regain their pre-baby body', albeit with swathes of staff around them, chefs, trainers etc... but my mother's group is currently consumed with losing the baby weight, and how much each week. It has become a huge comparison exercise. Oh, get me out of here! These girls are quibbling about 5 kgs. So what? Look at your beautiful baby!

Before you scream "hypocrite", yes I am on Weight Watchers, but remember, I am not about losing baby weight. I am about losing 10 years worth of lazy weight!

I was just looking at photographs from the few weeks after my baby was born. I still looked pregnant. But I was so overwhelmed by the task at hand that all I could think about was throwing on my leggings and getting back to work. I think, for my mother's group, whilst it was immensely reassuring to turn up this week in solidarity when you have gone through some tough days, now everyone is mostly established it is now about weight loss and developmental goals (when? what!), I really feel like it has run its course.

I will sum up by mentioning a conversation I had the other day with a brilliant friend, who reminded me to focus on what you're good at, not what you're not. Why try to be a tennis champion when you have the coordination of a 3 year old? I remember as a child feeling that I wasn't as valuable as my brother because he was good at sports and I was so bad, the coach told my parents that I should try other things. The focus was always on sporting achievement, without realising that, hey, I have other strengths too!

Here is a great tweet from Tom Jamieson (@jamiesont)

Of course we need school sports. Without the humiliation of coming last in every race where will the scriptwriters of tomorrow come from.

'Nuff said.

Ah. City Life.

I have spent the last two weeks in Melbourne which is sadly coming to an end as of tomorrow. I have really enjoyed the time, and so has Junior. We have been on the go everyday doing something interesting - swimming at the Harold Holt pool (one of the best facilities in Melbourne in my view), walking the Tan Track of a weekend, musing over the Edwardian/Spanish Mission/Art Deco homes in the Camberwell area and their owner's stunning renovation efforts. I am someone who thrives on culture and architecture so this has been a real treat for me. The other upshot is that Junior is sleeping better as well, because he is being sufficiently stimulated during his wake times. Bonus!

 Junior ready for a swim!

The looming, brutalist style of the Harold Holt Swim Centre 

A stunning day to walk The Tan Track 

 The Yarra River looking towards Olympic Park... a little wonky

 Preparing for our walk!

 The Old Melbourne Observatory at the Botanic Gardens

The Shrine of Remembrance

Harold Holt, from a different angle... you could photograph it a million different ways.

I have mentioned before that we are looking at moving to a city next year, and Melbourne is up there on the list mostly because it will be easier to juggle study, work and baby having family around to lend a hand. 

I have such an enormous fear of trepidation though, partly because I feel like we are starting from scratch, again, having spent the last 4 years going backwards in city terms (ie, the cost of living in the country, job opportunities, career, etc). Also, because it seems like everyone else is doing something interesting - living overseas, kicking career goals, etc, and here are we moving back to boring old Melbourne. 

Though I've always had a hunger to be different, I realise now, pragmatism is king. How much harder do I need to make raising a child?

A lot to muse over. Lucky there are plenty of fabulous cafes in Melbourne to choose from...