Competitive Mothers

I attend a new mother's group, as is customary for first time mums, and despite living in a small country town there is a wide demographic of women in the group. There's the Melbourne tree changers (of which I am one), the professional careerists, the horsey country types, the teenage mums... each trying to navigate the new landscape.

One of the mothers proclaimed that mothering was "easier than work" to which I thought, Jesus, your job must've been frickin' hard! But really, she indicated that she had a cruisey baby and in antenatal classes she and her partner said they weren't child friendly so I imagine they were expecting the worst and were pleasantly surprised by the reality.

I ran into another mother in town yesterday who mentioned this comment and that she had spent a day crying wondering if she was the only mother who hated it. Meanwhile, I ran into her with some fried food in my hand lamenting how I got caught eating crap by a mother who I admire for her healthy eating!

Women compare each other, by nature (I realise I am generalising but most women I know suffer this affliction). Combined with the hormones and the adjusting to the new role of motherhood, it just makes things worse.

I make a point of laughing off my fried food busting (it's a good thing, really, that there's no Maccas in my area so I can drive through and secretly scoff in my car) and anything else that could make me feel inadequate. My regrowth. My comfy tshirt with the holes that I wear in public. I could go on. At the end of the day, I wouldn't change one thing about my son, even though he gives me hell sometimes. I'm not gonna compare myself to anyone else because things are never as perfect as they appear on the other side.

I wish I could convince my best friend that. She is desperate to get pregnant, because she is surrounded by  mothers and mothers-to-be, and I am on a mission to convince her to enjoy what she has, not lament what she doesn't have.

It's taken me years to finally appreciate the beauty of where I live and not lament the fact that sometimes I feel like I live in the middle of nowhere... mind you, online shopping has helped!

Hmm... this is all getting a bit too Tolle now... how about a 90's jam to get pumping on a Tuesday arvo.