Too Tired to Blog

I've had a challenging few days. My baby, Goo, has been extremely unsettled and the routine we'd sort of loosely established went out the window. Every time I put him to bed when he was sleepy, he only sleeps for 30 minutes then wakes up crying. I only figured out today that he wants to be held to sleep, after resorting to putting him in the Baby Bjorn. Do you know how frustrating it is to not have tried this days earlier and saved the pain? When you're tired, the mind works more slowly.

So Goo has been sleeping now for the last 3 hours. Which is great, but it has been difficult to do things. I had to unstack the dishwasher one dish at a time. Tedious. I had to wait until my soup cooled enough before I ate it so as to not burn him if I spilled anything on him accidentally. Sigh. I am also feeling completely drained that I have no inspiration to write whatsoever, which is the most frustrating of all - it's my one outlet connecting me to me.

My partner said to me last night "I need some love", and full credit to him for being communicative and letting me know. I honestly but harshly replied "I need some time to myself". But I know that I'm going to make the effort to give him some of my time, without talking about or thinking about the baby (which is really hard to do when you have someone that you are waiting on hand and foot 24/7!) I know it's imperative to take time for the relationship.

It got me thinking, my partner feels his needs are being ignored, but really, what sacrifices has he made since Goo was born? His life hasn't really changed that much, he has the delicious ability to walk away, go and see his friends, go to the pub, and live his regular life, albeit with a noisy addition to it. I don't think he can begin to understand how difficult it is to be with a baby all day long, to keep him entertained, cuddled, nourished and have to take them wherever you go, and leave social situations when the babies start crying, and indeed exclude yourself from many social situations, including dining out and going to a movie or a concert. That's not his fault.

So I've just poured down my thoughts in a non-descript fashion. I guess writing something is better than nothing in the scheme of honing my writing skills?