Oh, The Indignity.

So I've joined Weight Watchers.

This isn't the first time.

I have an 'excuse' of sorts why I'm fat - baby weight - but really, I've been a chubster for as long as I can remember.

I first joined Weight Watchers when I left high school. I have always been a stress eater (such a bummer, why couldn't I be the opposite?) and the move to the North Shore of Sydney with it's perfect looking people had been so overwhelming, coupled with depression leaving my life in Melbourne behind, caused me to stack on a heap of weight.

I promptly joined a Weight Watchers group after returning to Melbourne. This was, of course, before the internet took over the world, and I had to turn up to meetings and get weighed by a dutiful elderly husband of the group leader, be loaded with a heap of reading material and diaries and spruiking of snack bars.

Naturally, I didn't last.

Around the same time, I discovered night life, and my weeks became so busy with clubbing, racing from lecture to tutorial, racing from the campus to the bar, living on two minute noodles and vodka gimlets. I lost close to 30kg over the space of a year and was astonished to fit into a size 10. Of course, I wasn't fit, and I was still flabby. So when I looked in the mirror I didn't see someone thin. I still felt like my fat self. Only I looked better in clothes.

That was 10 years ago. Granted, it took 10 years and a baby to put those 30kg back on, but by gosh I managed and I enjoyed every morsel and every minute slobbing on the couch.

My in-laws bought us a video camera so we could take video of the baby and send them back to France. Looking back at the footage I've taken, I got my much needed wake up call.

I don't have a full length mirror in my house, for better or worse, and the batteries in my scales have been dead for some time.

So it's 2012 and I'm facing up and due to my distance from anything, I've decided Weight Watchers Online is the way to go. I'm 3 days in, and feeling pretty good about it. The best thing is I can eat whatever I want as long as it fits into my points allowance. Pasta? Sure. Chocolate? Only if I don't want to eat for the rest of the day!

As a breastfeeding mother, they only recommend a weightloss of 500g a week, so I'm not exactly starving on the plan.

I'm determined to see it through to at least December 1st, as I have a party coming up. I signed up for three months for $89.95, which is really quite reasonable given I have access to a food/exercise tracker, weekly menu suggestion and forums and communities.

At the very least, the fact that I shelled out for the program should give me *some* motivation to get pram pushing!

Now, where are those batteries?