Breastfeeding: What They Don't Tell You.

What 'they' don't tell you. It's freaking hard. It doesn't come naturally (for most of us). It takes a few days to come in and you get manhandled until it does.

Let me elaborate.

I wrote an earlier post about my birth experience and having suffered a post partum haemorrhage, which required me to receive 4 units of blood. Not only was my body recovering from the shock of giving birth, it was battling to recover from a serious loss of blood. It was explained to me that it normally takes a couple of days for the milk to come through (until then, babies are getting almost nothing out of all the suckling they're doing, and they lose weight) which is quite a ridiculous human idiosyncrasy, if you ask me. The poor little things. Anyway, by day three my milk still hadn't come in and this was concerning the midwives. So they began hand expressing me, which means being squeezed and massaged (but not in a good way) after each 'feed', and I felt like they were being manhandled twenty-four-seven. By the third day, after 5 days in hospital, I was desperate to go home. Finally in the evening my milk came through and I packed my bags and headed home.

I understand why a lot of women give up on breastfeeding. I struggled for 2 weeks to establish a good feeding relationship with my baby, even though he was extremely responsive and latched from day one. Your nipples have to harden up, and until then, feeding is quite uncomfortable. Goo latched a little incorrectly on one side and I had to deal with that pain. You have to get the latch right, and the midwives can show you a million times but you have to work it out for yourself (after all, it's your body).

Two weeks in, I developed dermatitis on my nipples which was incorrectly diagnosed as mastitis (I know, how could that possibly be? A Doctor on emergency duty who was not wanting to be there), given a course of antibiotics and sent on my way. But the antibiotics did nothing. It was so painful to feed (more painful than childbirth, and that's saying something) that I had to express and then feed him. By chance, I was seeing the maternal and child health nurse that day and she took one look and knew it was dermatitis. Back to the doctors, sent home with a cortisone cream. The next day, I felt like a new woman.

Now, it's easy. I wouldn't go so far as to say it was pleasant, but it certainly feels normal. I don't love being tied down to feeding every couple of hours, and I detest feeding in public (only because I am an incredibly private person). My partner uses it as an excuse to not comfort the baby ("he needs boob") which bottle feeding Dads can't use. But I wouldn't change it. I am so glad that I persevered.

Here is the thing: they tell you childbirth is incredibly painful. They tell you having a newborn is hard beyond belief. But everyone tells you that breastfeeding is natural, and pleasant. It is not. 

It's hard yakka, it doesn't feel natural at all to start with and it's painful even if the baby is latching on, because your body has never felt anything like it. It takes weeks to get on track.

I honestly believe there would be a lot less formula babies out there if the truth were known. We would have the belief in ourselves that we can overcome, and as women, of course we do!